Can you see me from up there?

Do you even remember me?

I won’t blame you if you don’t.

I saw you barely twice a year, sometimes only once

You were so small, I know you barely knew me

It hurts a lot though

Why did you have to go so soon?

And why am I crying today?

Why didn’t I cry even once in the last 6 months?

Last year when you left us

I thought my world would never be the same

But strangely I moved on as weeks turned into months

How did I let this happen?

It feels so wrong

What kind of grief is this?

That erupts only a few times a year?

Why has not my life stopped?

Why has not the world stopped?

Why do we have to accept the travesty of your loss?

Why does the universe have to impose on us the banality of it all?

Your death was not, and will not be banal

I refuse to let it be just another loss

I don’t care if it hurts more and more

I refuse to let it hurt any less

You may not remember me little brother

But I will never forget you